what's a blog for anyway?

1. To boast about myself?
~nop. ok. ok. a little. boasting is not all what i do, u know,

2. To cry out loud so that all my friends will notice?
~definitely not... *after a while* some pathetic, insolent fool, like my enemy but not me! hah!! but she doesn't even have a blog! plus, i don't even think she knows what's B-L-O-G-G-I-N-G.

3. To crap about my daily routine?
~maybe. i do sometimes....no,no...always... i'm just not satisfied with myself.. FYI. noone is!!

4. To let a person I HATE fuck off my mind by criticizing her?
~at first. but then, i decided against it. i did write write posts about the person lingering in my head atop all the history and geography notes..

5. To spill all my feelings here, a place where my beloved AND my enemy could find?
~ hey... i could be fragile you know... just acting tough doesn't means i'm all steeled up inside! so, I'll consider this question...

6. To improve in my writing skills?
~NO WAY!!! like what my friend said, posting a post in a blog isn't a homework, it's what you usually write in a diary..

7. To get to know myself deeper?
~well, my wounds may seen deep, but I'm nothing deeper than the world's moat petrified, feared, deepest sea, where all the savage looking sea- creatures live. maybe it's for my friends/ my family members to know me better. now, that sounds better..

this post is to whoever that TERPERASAN

You're obnoxious.
i hate to say it,
but it's true,
every time you talk to me,
you only care about yourself.
me? NOO!! i just follow whatever you say,
as though you're my master and all.

I have never fought back.
you talk, i listen.
but when i talk back,
you start fighting.
i give in to your all- so- i-know rules!!
giving in is NOT in your dictionary and WILL NEVER BE!

You're the same person ever since I've known you.
ever since we were 10,
yes,
it has been such a long time.
as you know, last time you were demanding.
demanding is all what you do!
you demand things that I DON'T LIKE
but, do i PROTEST?
no. no i DON'T!

You made me darker and i hated it,
but since you liked it, i ignored the petty problem.
but now it's bothering me.
what could you do?
NOTHING!! you don't even realize. you're like a person flicking though my emotions with a remote control.

you said you hated that person,
so i hated HER too.
but, now, it's like you're turning you're back against me.
i see you walk, talk ,laugh and joke with your classmate even though you know she's my ENEMY!
how do you think i felt when i saw that scene unfolding right in front of me?

you said you didn't study,
i waited.. longed.
4 you to say " it's time. gempur's coming. let's study."
but NO!
even at the eleventh hour you said you didn't study.
you brought back A!
how could i even believe you again?

you're pampered,
PAMPERED TO THE CORE!!
you throw away a person like a dirt sticking itself on your shirt
you don't care about their feelings.
they are just poor , weaklings,
don't dare to fight back
because you fire vulgar word and things at them
that they will and would NEVER FORGET..

you're a liar,
you said you're not going to tuition.
you even messaged me.
so, i too. did not go.
but the next day, you came to me smiling,
saying that you went.
haizzzz.....
i just don't know you,
even though i boast around I'm your Friend...

last but not least,
I'm far away from you...
so,
why the friend-good friend relationship?
it's to no avail..
to no point,
to no feelings among us..
just hatred..
just plain betrayed...

so, my dear friend, i hope you PERASAN after you read this

and at least, i expect a sincere apology from your

OWN mouth....

~she's 15 and from SMKI~(not yet 15)

~IF YOU ASK ME, I'LL SAY NOBODY.. BUT THERE IS...~

it was just like yesterday, or maybe it was?

I still remember vividly what happened in  January, the time I thought the year 2009 is going to be hectic but which turned out to be ver relaxed, i just don't know why, but everybody seems soo..sooo.... peaceful... then, in February, the time i was chasing all aroung SMk ibrahim to complete my homework. being told what to do, and doing what is  told, well, did quite drive me crazy. next, in March, i was totally out of control. getting darker( skin tone) in  tennis was definitely NOT my idea of fun, but ut WAS for sylvia... she wasnted to get herself a layer of tan. well, she did eventually, but after the prefet camp 2009. later in April, getting absolute respect from THE form ones.. don't know why, but... hey, i liked it u noe, lets go to May, quite busy i can say, getting ready for the all so we know, MID TERM ... people were reading their books no matter what!! me? i brought back 6As and 1B. B in Sejarah... history thought me that in my family history, noone seens to get high marks in Geography OR History. how sad... talking about my sadness, lets jump to June. that month was really a wakening one. bringing most of us  back to our main course. knocking us all back to our senses. the countdown to PMR started.... for all i know, to add the flips and churns in my stomach, Mr. Fletcher asked my class to start the countdown for trialtoo. July came and before it passes, most of my formmate and me (i'm trying though) are already burrying our noses among the stacks of revision books. if it was novels last month, now it's all dictionaries, school and tuition books.

wasn't it just yesterday, i was saying"LA... still got many days to study ma.. Why the hassel?" or maybe it was ? who knows?

camp candid photoes!! ~simply lurve it~

these are some of the photos the fesis took in the camp..

if you would like to view the rest of it, pls

pls.. you're most welcomed to click on this link

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1206847400#/album.php?page=1&aid=32397&id=1206847400

Pra Kem ~15/7/2009~

it is pre- torture for all prefects who were planning to go for the Kem Kupimpin 2009. first, it started at 4.00 pm. they (the senior prefects) asked us to gather at the tapak perhimpunan. it was damn HoT!! as usual of course.. Sis Rubiatul gave us instructions. she explained all the whistle signs and the meanings. my group, the HANDSOME TERMITES (which we planned twp days before) had 8 group members and then, they added another member a day before
-Daayalini - form 2 student because her group was disbanded. then they added another group member just now, UGRHHHH curse you seniors!! (except those who are reading this). this time is was a form 6 student.-malathi-

ok here goes the whistle maniacs, blowing their whistle like breathing air though a sewage pipe. the sound is an ear sore!. they divided the five remaining groups to each seniors to be taken cared of.. my group members are:


1.shahirah
2.yun ling
3. joseph
4.me(mohana)
5. fikri
6. umaa
7.andrew
8.amir farhan
9.dhaayalini
10.malathi

PHEWWWTTT!! (WHISTLE SOUNG IS HEARD)

"RUN! RUN! GO THO THE FILED MOHANA! RUNNNN!!!"
~that is what i heard before my legs took off like a speed boat gliding across the wide deep dark blue sea. but it's just that now, it's a hard 400m green field~

PHWWWTTT!!! *whistle louder*

~i ran again after dumping my books and surat kebenaran on the laluan berbumbung~

"ok people!! jog with prema.. she'll lead you. my group was handled by prema. she gave us an activity after running. jump according to what she says but just BACKWARDS!
then we did Ze Hao's activity.. frog jumping.. pity Yun Ling.. she went really blue...


LATER, we entered bilik kuliah and all the seniors gave their own monotonous speeches ! UNsurprisingly, i wasn't sleepy.
guess why?


it was freezing like HELL!! (psst.. i don't know hell is cold or hot, but is just a unintentional catchphrase)because, i was part heating myself, rubbing both my palms together and pressing it to my face and part frozen, being glued to a spot tight under the fan in a bad ventilated air- conditioned room!! this, vivian said it was a way to testify us , weather we can tahan the coldness or not!!


WHAT IN THE WORLD?? OKOK PPL!! i am sure.. you guys know what happened mostly in the three days camp .. so I'm not going to write about it! but not all your friend talk bout pre- camp, so this is what happened!! IF you guys missed out anything that happened in the three days camp- to- die- for, always feel free to ask me!! (AFTER PMR) ~IF YOU STILL REMEMBER!~

dead chicken...... XD

haha... this two word really remembers me of ARVIND.. and of what that Arvind told me..

this was what happened....

it was SO boring in class-the last two periods . cuz there was no teacher.. she left us homework by asking us to finish the WHOLE move ahead exercise book.!!! mad isn't it? yeah totally. but never mind that, i was actually nono.. really sleepy that time... than i saw around the class and found most of my mates were fast asleep in the middle of their ecstatic bliss...

DINGGG the timer in my head rang.. it was 1.30.. TIME TO GO BACK TO THE CAFE!! (cuz i'm staying back..) it's no use... I'll even be more tired.. i just had the feeling.. and it was.. that time that my mood was demolished.. then i pulled a face and starting walking to the cafe ALONE since no one was free that time to 'TEMANKAN' me.

then when i was about to reach the cafe.. ARVIND came by, he said this
"wei.. why ? walking and looking like a dead chicken??"(in TAMIL - i translated it for u)
that moment, a huge grin appeared on my face..
"haha... haha ... haha.. what lar you!! where got!! "
my stomach was hurting cuz of my laugh" (metaphor - i was not laughing that hard)
then he described the way i was walking before the time i clashed into him again...
i smiled not because it was funny but the way he was walking was way exaggerating..

so... whenever i hear this two words, "dead chicken" I'll definitely remember you ARVIND!!

wow.. what a meaningful story..

as i was going though my mails,
my mum sent me one..
i kept on reading and reading..
again and again..
it really touched me u know..

and i wanted to share it with the world then and there..... as you guys know, "the wisdom of words only comes from the one who lives in it"...

/p.s./ even though it's not clear... i guess you can make out the words..

Many people in the world are suffering without a handphones to call in case of emergency, a proper house to live in, a computer to entertain themselves, a friend to nag about their lives, parents to rely on when you're down, and last but not least, their own physical or mental which is retarded left to cry about...

THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION: BUT ARE THEY ALL SPILLING OVER IT? ARE they feeling infuriated, indignant, vexed about it?

THE ANSWER IS.... : NOPE.. they're not. i recently say a Tamil movie, there they taped all the retarded kids having to beg for food and earn a living... do YOU know what was one of the kids philosophy? In the middle of euphoric bliss he confessed...

"i keep on smiling and smiling.. well, what's there to lose? we're born like this because of our wrong doings in our previous birth... is crying going to make i any better? so, i just keep on smiling even though people keep on staring at me as though i am a insolent fool.. but i just don't care.."

I Fainted.. (in skool plak tu)

7/7/09 ~the day that will be maliciously remembered by me . the day that triggered many minds that i COULD faint... and COULD make a fool out of myself...

u know, i've always wanted to faint in school ( that was because i wanted to know how many people does it take to carry me) but, after i do, it feels like i never want it happening again.
this was roughly what happened.. i was not myself too, so i can't really recall back what happened.



pagi2 around 6.45 i think, i reached the school gate.. i felt like :aiyo, why have to come to school this early wan?"



then i went to the 'perhimpunan pagi' as usual. we were only 1 minute late u know, and it was not even 7.00 but the CLEMENT was already starting the perhimpunan. FYI. there was only 3 people listening to him, others were all at the 'tapak perhimpunan'.so, we kenalah leteran daripada THE BOSS, KLC(dun want to mention HER full name) my mood was demolished than and there.I felt like something was clutching my stomach and the pain was growing bad to worse. Mr. flecther was giving his usual speech that time. i thought my stomach pain would eventually fade off but, it didn't, in fact it was rising minute by minute...........

imagine.. the pain went up to my lungs. it was like my lungs were being squashed. Mr Flecther got down after his speech. and i had the feeling that i must tell Lishantini, who was standing in front of me that i want to sit down. my vision was getting blurrier and blurrier.. not darker.. but whiter, the images of my ketuas were all jumbled up picturing another fake illusion. then even the illusion were fading into white huge cotton clouds..
and then one piece of information which was what i needed to tell my friend slowly crept to my spinal cord, interpreting all this pain i was undergoing and made up 5 words..

the 5 words that seemed to be very verry ... verrry ..what d ah? the word... ish i duno hw to describe d lar... but very teruk k? I M GOING TO FAINT.....

me : lishan, i cannot stand d lar.
lishan : come, let me take you to your bottle.

(she was asking permission from my ketua when i thought i could make my way to the chair which seemed like so far away, then i tripped over the plant, i don't know lar, plant or my own leg, but i heard the rustling of the leaves, so, i think it's the plant. my vision was only white.. not a single ray of real light.. only the illusions that i was creating ... from the way i that i was walking on, and who lishan was talking to. then lishan came to my aid. she caught my hand then brought me to the chair..

me :lishan i want my water please.
lishan : which one? this? (my bottle)
me :yes... (voice trailing off)

(drank half of the water from my bottle. that time mr. flecther lalu)

Mr. flecther : why?
me : dizzy.

then that was it.. sylvia, told me what happened in the perhimpunan and the rest of the day, i spent it in my comfortable bed lying there and thinking whether i should have come back home or not.. because i was starting to feel bored....